Jokes.... LOLZ

We needed a jokes thread so here it is
just post all your jokes in this thread. Please NO Racist or sexist jokes

Topics:
Blond
Your Mumma
Fat
Random

try to stick to these ill get us started

What did the blondes left leg say to the blondes right leg?.....
Between you and me we can make a lot of money

if a blonde and a brunette jumped off a building who would get to the bottom first? "the brunette b/c the blonde would still be tryin to figure out where to go"



your moma’s so ugly her birth certifate was an apology letter from the condom factory

Your momma is sooooooooooo nasty, when she puts on secret deoderant it tells on her!!!!!

Yo mama’s so FAT... The Barber shop charged her by the acre to shave her back

Your moms like a bowling ball, shes been fingered, thrown in the gutter and used over and over again.

ur mumma is so poor i saw kicking a can down the road and asked her "hey what u doing?" and she replied "moving"

ur mumma so poor i stepped on a lit cigerette and she said "who turned off the heater?"

ur mumma is so fat she sturned a jumbo jet into a submarine

ur mumma is so fat she has to use the highway as her itooning board

Why were to blondes staring into a bottle of frozen orange juice?
because it said concentrate

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

Yo mamma so fat that when she went to the beach greenpeace tried to push her bak into the ocean

yo mamma is so stupid that she died in a 24 hour grocery store

four guys were walkin down the street when some mobster told themto get into the car so they did the mobsters took them to the woods and said go and get ten peices of fruit and shuve them up ur butt no makin any sounds or well shoot you.. so the first guy came with some apples he got to 5 grunted and they shot him he went to heaven the next guy came with some plums he got to 7 and grunted snd he was shot and he went to heaven the next guy came with blueberries and he got to 9 started laughing and died he went to heaven when the 3rd guy got to heaven the other two asked him y did u start laughing u were so close!!! snd the guy that shived the blueberries up his butt said i started laughing becasue i saw the next guy comin with 10 watermelons !!! LOL

Bobert wrote:
yo mamma is so stupid that she died in a 24 hour grocery store

Works better if you say she starved instead of died.

Bobert wrote:
four guys were walkin down the street when some mobster told themto get into the car so they did the mobsters took them to the woods and said go and get ten peices of fruit and shuve them up ur butt no makin any sounds or well shoot you.. so the first guy came with some apples he got to 5 grunted and they shot him he went to heaven the next guy came with some plums he got to 7 and grunted snd he was shot and he went to heaven the next guy came with blueberries and he got to 9 started laughing and died he went to heaven when the 3rd guy got to heaven the other two asked him y did u start laughing u were so close!!! snd the guy that shived the blueberries up his butt said i started laughing becasue i saw the next guy comin with 10 watermelons !!! LOL

This one works best if the guy comes back with pineapples instead of watermelons.

How Can you kill a blonde.... Put spikes on her shoulders and ask her a question.

Yo momma is so skinny that she can hula hoop a cheerio

your mama so fat that she has different time zones over her body
on her left boob its 1 am
on her right bob its 8 am

Unle$hD wrote:your mama so fat that she has different time zones over her body
on her left boob its 1 am
on her right bob its 8 am

Who's Bob? XD

idk if this is a joke or not but its funnier than any of the ones you guys have posted haha.

LOL

WTF, the things people watch/post on youtube....

idc that thing is a joke haha